a year for seven days

let me in behind the secrets.
the insecurities
the barriers.

you can trust
you can know that i will never lie.
we will dance in love...
like all the deepest authors wrote.

we can be there.
in those moments
the way they pass seamlessly.
everything will be incredible
if only you can see me in the right light.

because that is how i am forced to get by
i don't have the common tools.
a glance won't get your mind games playing
i am forced to work from corners.
to watch and plan
i do everything you might consider wrong.

but i will find a way to speak to you.
a way to reach you
in a way that others never could.
identify the contour of your character
and.
use the knowledge
to play you like a virtuoso.
that has found a beautiful instrument for creation.

the pattern breaks
a mistake removes the mask.
now you see me as the snake
no more compliments on dick size.
no more gentle rubbing backs
it grows cold.
no more open doors
left to kneel in the driveway.
i saw you glance from the window
our sensations begin to fade from my mind.

i look at the world as a black cloud.
i had to fake my way in
and.
now the world is colder than the moment i allowed the barriers to fall.
you initiated
you pulled me in.
i could have let it go
let it been what it was.
but i made the choice to craft it
to make it meaningful.
to try and impress
rather then live as myself.

that is why it crumbled
maybe not for you.
you may remain unscathed
but you are the beautiful instrument.
you can make beautiful music with another
another with less talent.
but the product will be precious none-the-less.
i was too young
too consumed by the pressure of here and now.
and
wanting the present to be forever.
it is clear
such works of beauty are rare.
and the beholder is left to gouge his eyes...









or find freedom














a different time.