not so me/ and not so you

forgive these people. they know not what they do. i will bear the burden of their responsibility. point your fingers at me. i am willing.

if only i could find a way to make it meaningful, to make it relevant. sacrifice means nothing without an ultimate. i have not found the ultimate, but i have found the desire to be a martyr.
what can i give the world with the help of this desire? there are sensations that i want to experience. i want to know the intricacies of these abstract principles. how did we come to extend guesses into rules?




in the midst i put my lips to the bottle. the solace is unbelievable. something like a good fuck. earth-shaking. no need to search for the ultimate. it is right there in the extension of my person. we are sharing a tunnel. the ultimate makes no reference to these others. there is no reason to sacrifice. the inclination was a product of conditioning. i need to listen to myself. create myself... the way it feels right.



no advise from the world. i have the tools i need. sensation governs. all the others are afraid. they cower in the norms. all because it is secure. all because it breeds longevity. but there is no destiny. there is no fate. there is only the choice to cook the ketamine... or lie and say you're straight. these metaphysical issues... nothing but brain fun. all choices in the realm remain superfluous.

instincts will do us just fine.



music and sex.