advanced formula

welcome to the orgasmic experience that is music. moods, rhythms and melodies have to be right... for that moment, for that transcendent moment. the tears. the ocean. the flow of life as we may or may not know it. drugs help to get the experience going.

I don't do drugs anymore, but i should probably start again. not that i did any that were that bad or that i did too much of them, i wasn't forced in to stopping because of excess... this is not an adictive desire thing... it is just that i find myself in a half-assed mode of living and perhaps i need the artificial death-face of elicit substance to jump back in to the mix. i am frozen in the here and now worrying about health. i patrol my house with a net... claiming that i am hunting ghosts. if i were to get in heavy with drugs then i would have a real problem to overcome... and this half-assed bullshit would be left for all the other retards that are still sane but just too bitch to handle their nihilist selves. it isn't really real nihilism. it is the kind of nihilism in which the believer/non-believer knows that there is no purpose or meaning but they choose to hang on to notions of god possibilities and love possibilities and other such things because the world physically hurts without those cuddly thoughts. even though they know damn well that the dark brooding moments leave nothing but a dusty semen spray and the ashes of some former holy texts. no creation. no beliefs... just some lies strategically placed to keep it all from falling apart.

HEY!!!!!!!!!! let's bob for apples and have underage sex. that will surely help us forget everything bad and live freely in the now.

or.

maybe some other slippery whale tit shit lickers will claim that talking about sad/bad things, like nihilism and underage sex, is for losers and idiots. i will categorically disagree and hope that they will allow me to cleveland steam them after they realize that their escapist rationalities are inferior. i got a fetish to feed. and it involves feces in the pectoral region. get your right/wrong goggles on.

i don't actually have such a fetish. oh come on. like me.