Thursday, June 08, 2006

money and hipster pants

things aren't what they used to be. love and throne town is now.... a ghost town. can't say i am surprised. everyone migrates to the action. in this case... action means snorting coke in scummy-little city bars, listening to jay-z albums with the bpm turned up. frenzied conversations are thought to be meaningful. whether the conversations are meaningful or not... enough brain/mind things happen to facilitate the pairing off of dry-mouthed organ bags. oh no. she can't get wet. he can't get off. too much stimulation. just wait until tomorrow when life is awful. save yourself by copying and pasting your routine until you need medication. mind-numbing, creativity-crushing... death pills.

i will stay here in my ghost town. bored and angst-filled. but functional and motivated... in a sense. i will admit that my life is shit at this point, but there are levels of shit. a lot of it has to do with the way the life looks. mine doesn't look so good, but it isn't the worst shit. i' ve got my brain/mind games to bank on. i kind of want my life to look better. but that is just a generic human concern. maybe God can help me get different and make my life look better. i have friends that have told me that that is the answer. i will be saved from my shabby looking life. maybe. by God. maybe by medicine. maybe by the birth of some relationships. maybe nothing will happen. time to stop thinking. time for a nice drive through ghost town.

perception and belief are on the way out. new nature.

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