Herman Hesse

ex-girlfriend calls: "I want to see you."

dude replies: "I am hooking up with a cool chick up here. You can come but I will be hiding you and sleeping out at this girl's place. I don't think you will want to do that. But I will gladly accept the extra blowjobs and sex."

ex-girlfriend: "What does she look like?"

dude: "It doesn't always have to be about looks you shallow bitch."

ex-girlfriend: "If she isn't pretty with a great body I will go down on you with no strings attached the next time we are home... and you can come on my face."

dude: "Ha, yeah she is pretty much perfect."

ex-girlfriend: "You used to tell me that I was perfect all the time you fucking asshole."

dude: "If I remember correctly you broke up with me because you wanted freedom. It is great that we are still comfortable enough to have these frank discussions but... why don't you just tell me what's on your mind."

ex-girlfriend: "I miss you."

dude: "Does that mean you want me to eat your pussy and talk about some abstract shit until we fall asleep... or does it mean that you are still in love with me and you want to get back into that."

ex-girlfriend: "I don't know... I didn't think about it that much."

dude: "Sure."

ex-girlfriend: "All I know is that if I were there I would sit you down in a chair and I would strip down to nothing but the black panties that you like... and I would tease you for a little before going completely cowgirl on you."

dude: "Well whatever then,... you are going to have to come up here and battle the bitch I am hooking up with. I like her but I might be willing to let it slide if you came up here and went crazy jealous slut-style on her."


she drives up... and they fuck.


so happy.

two weeks later... dude smokes pot and has a heart attack. DEAD.