there is nothing like trying to avoid masturbation. i used to think that sex helped to quell the urge... but... getting intimate with others doesn't eliminate the need to have the intimate moments with self. as though i should be talking to myself about it. "great job just before... really satisfying. the imagination was flying. very realistic with the eyes closed, head back, elbow on the thigh... excellent release. too bad the sleep will be terrible."
pleasure. movement. insecure bullshit about morals or something along those lines. i am sick of this. but not to the point of motivation. the efforts have not begun.
will not begin.
the notion of self-awareness and the useful stagnation.
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