i want to throw a grenade. a live one. i want to do this in a public area. i do not want any people to die. but i want people to experience a grenade explosion in REAL LIFE. how real is real life? the life that is outside of the comfort zone. i guess some people never experience real life.
very uncool.
i am trying to synthesize information. taking notes. one thing has become clear; taking a firm stance is not simple. if you want to have an enjoyable life... in the fun sense... then do not try to change or prove anything. i want to hit myself in the mouth saying shit like that.
just skate by, keep drinking and smoking, keep dealing with personal sensations. try to hide from angst. (oh boy... super gay) find a perspective and make sure it will enable you to find some sort of life companion. could be a person of the same sex, could be a pet. just something that is capable of being the recipient of attention, a companion in the midst of a running commentary.
on an unrelated note. why have networks decided that bombarding the masses with the hot bitch sideline/on-site reporters is the way to go?
Here we are at the US paintball championships. Now over to our token nice faced big tittied interview slut. Keep the culture legit.
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