there is never enough. i want more naked women... that is the first thing that comes to mind. But they can't be fat... and their faces have to be pretty. the world has to be filled with innocence and curiosity. i want some beautiful scenery and some intelligent compatriots. i want to have conversations that flow nicely. and i don't know how to do it all the time... people seem to like different things.
in other words the doors are open, but i am scared of all the faces in the next room. i am writing letters, but i never send them out. this is really the way that humans should function. afraid sometimes but full of hope.
nah nay nah, that ain't what i want to say. i was typing while i was checking my voicemail... all of that was bullshit. don't even think about it. i mean of course i can delete it... but that would be dishonest... you should see the nature of my folly... because all this bullshit is; is a chance to open the door to my way of functioning. i am putting on a show for you... i am hoping that you will find something in my something. you know... i try to find words to sum it all up so that you will learn something and think that i might be cool or unique or something... i can't help thinking about why i am compelled to do what i do.
i am a weirdo scientist, getting passionate about projects and burning myself out because of the frequency of my bursts into hyper-drive. but even when i am completely burnt i decide to sit down and churn something out... because maybe i will strike a chord that will ring through the masses..... oh god gooooooood the masses, the people that need to hear to help make the changes.... oh my gooooooood god.... if only i could be heard by the masses.... everything would evaporate and the barriers of cognition would crumble with the shift in matter state.... holy nun-fuck i want that change... i want to be a part of something and be in someone. call my cell phone. and we can fight and fuck and be like normal people... why don't you want that with me? who wouldn't want to be here.... in my room watching me type with my music on blast? come on, maximize your experience. get to know your savior. gog dag.
dustispolista. dus-teese-pole-easta is how you would say that. dustispolista is that secret shit that you will need. you gonna need it at crunch time.
welcome.
2 comments:
I don't think you want what you say you want What keeps us happy, what keeps us living, is that whole "transitory" phase of trying to better things It gives us a purpose, a want, and a need
i don't know what i want. that is what it is all about... just uttering things throughout.
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