imported schnapps

we are all jokes.

but we survive... we survive to fret and converse. we find ourselves musing over the dramas in our proximity... but all the people just want to get off and be loved. at least all the people that i know. so we drift around speaking when we feel so inclined... keeping to ourselves when the mood is correct.... never knowing exactly what the fuck is going on. some people don't worry about exactly what is going on. as long as they can perform their daily functions they put the rest on automatic. so what are we doing? it seems that we are right to invest our time in the little shit-fist issues that hover around our social scenes and our politics. what else should we worry about? solving complex problems? problems that would take years to scratch the surface upon? should we waste the eighty, or so, years that we have with this experience thinking about metaphysical issues, dissecting ambiguity, looking for ways to open new portions of perceptual experience? should we look into expanding the way we manipulate our surroundings? probably not.

we should continue to dick around with the sensations that we have. there are people that find comfort and stability. they dedicate their lives to keeping their comfort and their stability. i think that that is the most foolish pursuit possible. at least it is the most foolish if comfort and stability are the ultimate goals. we should be pressing boundaries at all times.


ah yes. it is the same old shit.... time and time again. try to push the progressive angle. but honestly... i have no fucking idea what the proper angle is. maybe the stagnation fucking that we are slamming to ourselves is just the right thing to open the next existential doorway. maybe we will figure out a way to network our perceptual experience and human beings will then link with chimps, gorillas, bonobos, ferrets, a variety of woodcreepers, a single gazelle... etcetera... and we will have a super organism... a singularity... and then bang... the universe will explode due to the monotony.

what are we supposed to do with all this cognition? find happiness? what a fucking joke. happiness is ignorance. if an individual human being is adept he or she will see the paradoxical nature of their ability to critically analyze their situation. it doesn't go anywhere. our species will go extinct. all the information will be lost. so we are forced to live in the here and in the now... but there is nothing epic about here and now. here and now is composed of deep-rooted belief-based conflict, a worthless culture, a surplus of event coverage with no reason to fully believe the bodies of information coming forth, nothing about being here now is particularly exciting... aside from my ability to ask the questions that lead me to absolute impracticality. doing drugs... that is also interesting. so i find myself asking impractical questions and hanging out with people that do drugs.

what exactly am i supposed to do with that pattern? should i just break it off? do the dirty deed and start boozing? get a girlfriend and buckle down into the mode of crafting a life within the current conduct-paradigm? i don't want that life. i want to kill people and change things... i want there to be enough meaningful conflict or meaningful enlightenment that something tangible can be felt among the masses.

please put some more gay sauce into my anus! is that what you are thinking? maybe you should be.

what i am saying doesn't make any fucking sense. a paradox is dealt with by the conception of duality. there are simply ambiguous situations that we must transcend. we must transcend those situations and persevere. we must try to see the sides and act according to the nature of the dichotomies and the changes.

nothing is achieved through the analysis of ambiguity. (maybe something could be achieved... perhaps the creation of interesting thought experiments... but it probably will not lead to progress.) trying to figure out the nature of human cognition as it pertains to the actuality of existence... is beyond foolish... it is worse than the pursuit of maintaining comfort and stability. such frivolous pursuits are a drain on the people that actually put forth effort in this world. while i spend my time dreaming about square-circles there are people making it so that society continues. people who do not pose ultimate questions.... people that take on their roles with a sense of responsibility or a sense of desire and greed. whatever their motivation, the people of which i am speaking are contributing something to society. i am just a dirty misanthrope. i sit at my computer scratching my scalp and jerking off because i just can't handle the magnitude of the futility. i have no fucking choices. i have crushed my own freedom with a suicidal amount of analysis.

life was nicer when i thought about how to get pussy, life was nicer when i cared about doing my hair right...

it was so nice that evening that i took that beautiful girl's virginity and i knew she was mine.

i can look back and remember nice things.... and i can see that i am currently a disaster of a human being...

good thing i am having the time of my life. because all this depressing bullshit is probably capable of crippling non-saviors of the universe.

fuck you, and most especially me.

penis and vagina.