9

“You see these girls?”

“I see lots of girls.”

“I mean these swanky bitches, these girls that are done up; fashion slaves.”

“Fashion slaves?”

“Yeah, they're slaves to their ‘looks’, they're always hyper about physical presentation.”

“I don’t know if I would say that they are slaves just because they care about the way they look, but I am pretty sure I know what you mean.”

“There was a real looker on the train the other day. She had those big sunglasses… toned skinny arms... nice looking collar bones. Real tight pants tucked into some Eskimo-job boots. She looked real hip. I looked at her for a while. I wanted to kill her.”

“You wanted to kill her? Why didn’t you?”

“Nice, you douche. I decided that I wouldn't kill her because I was afraid I would get caught by the police and that they'd put me in jail. Come on... killing some ignorant bitch isn’t going to cleanse the world of all stupid bitches and all the bullshit that made them the way they are..”

“Well certainly you were afraid... or you didn’t really want to kill her. And your just being a dramatic cock-sucker”

“Nah, I wanted to kill her, I wanted to take her into a subway tunnel and stomp her face on a rail. I wanted to break her down and fucking grind the pride out of her.”

“But you'll never do anything like that in your life. And neither will I. First off I don't want to... and second I wouldn't have the balls even if I found the thought appealing.”

“Nah, one day I'll just slay one of those bitches. I’ll stalk her until I see an opportunity and murder her; brutal kill, make her pay for being careless, i'll make her pay for her little fashion choices. Do my part to put these socialite sluts on their toes.”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“What?”

“Keeping socialite sluts on their toes?”

“If I kill one of these socialite sluts then there will be a news story, her friends and family will be affected, it’ll be something.”

“I'm pretty sure it would be viewed as an arbitrary murder/rape”

“Yeah, I would probably rape her if I was gonna go as far as murder.”

“I don’t see the point. Well, I don’t see the point if it is actually about hating young socialite bitches. On the other hand... If you’re creating this scenario in order to mask your basic desire; to have sex with hot fashionable underage girls, then I follow your scumbag reasoning completely. It would flow something like this: You will justify the murder-rape of some innocent girl by claiming that her ignorance is a detriment to the free people of the world. Her poor understanding of poverty and power struggles makes her an awful person and you are going to be the one to snuff her out. In your world of self-aggrandizement and insecurity you can feign a hero status instead of recognizing yourself as a deplorable murdering rapist.”

“I’m not actually going to kill a chick.”

“Yeah it's all hypothetical, except for your obsession with hot fashion girls. Because if it was actually about hating a certain sort of predictable girl bullshit, and you really wanted to bring change, then why would you choose a solitary murder. If you really wanted to make an impact you would have to go into a serial killer mode. Or take some other equally extreme angle. It doesn't seem like your motivation would hold up. As a matter of fact I am curious what it is that you hate about these girls."

“Seriously? Get off my dick. And for real... those girls rub me the wrong way. Just the way they come across. With the sunglasses, the boots, the fucking elitist posture, the way they walk, they come off cold and disconnected, but then sometimes they see someone that they feel like they should impress and they start some really chatty bullshit, some smiley valley girl shit that's worse than anything else they could do. I guess I just don’t understand where their coming from. You Know? What the fuck are these bitches trying to do? Are they trying to land some rich dude with a big dick? Are they looking to get into some fucking opium party with celebrities? When I see these hip bitches they make me think that we aren’t the same species; like we’re so different that we couldn’t even mate right, like we would have some fucked up degenerate offspring.”

“I still don’t understand what you're getting at. How do you want these girls to change? What would make them better for you? Would they be better if they vividly realized all the elements of their surroundings? Would they be better if they paid more attention to people like you? Would you like them more if they were willing to blow ugly dudes? I would be willing to bet you my next paycheck that you would talk shit on a girl if she was with a dude that you thought was uglier than you. You would wonder what she was doing with that guy and have a subjective moment where you told yourself that you could definitely fuck her better, and show her a better time. I am guessing that you don’t have anything profound behind this and that you're just socially disgruntled and sexually frustrated. And you're talking all this shit about murder because it's the next most passionate thing. Really you just want to pound out some girl that has the look of the moment.”

“Man, you can go fuck yourself, all I want from these bitches is some awareness. I wanna shake em up. I want the bubble to burst for a few seconds. I want them to think that it’s all coming down, just for a minute. I’m not actually gonna do any weird shit. I don’t have the heart for that. I’m not cold enough. But I do hate the way those bitches are. The only way that I would stop hating them is if they became completely different bitches. If they got grittier, if they got so I could talk to them without feeling like I was being looked down at.”

“You are a disaster. Is this what you think about on the subway? These murder schemes, these counter culture moves? You are going to have to accept your little jerk off fantasies and scum it out like the rest of us. Unless you get up the balls to go out and crush some girls face, which would be relatively hardcore. If you became that serial killer you would get an underground kind of respect, to a small degree, along with the warranted societal fear. Actually, if you were to make that leap, you would be outcast, rightfully so, but I would respect your ability to transcend the norm. That being said; I would probably turn you in to the cops myself.”

“Would you turn me in to the cops?”

“Probably not... but I would be tweaked the fuck out by the whole thing. I would have trouble being around you. Actually, I think I would stand for one final meeting and I would ask you for the details of the kill and the fuck, I would try to bless you with some words, give you some cash, and formally part ways with you forever.”

“I can’t tell if the thought of going through that final meeting makes me want to kill a bitch more, or less. That would be a fucked up day. Imagine if we met up like that. I would probably just sit there and smoke a cigarette. Not saying shit to you like a hardcore bastard.”

“I don’t consider the taking of life to be funny but I would probably laugh if I saw your mug shot on TV. 'Maniac rapes and murders another sixteen year-old girl." Knowing that you went ahead and crushed like that, knowing that you went through with your hatred bullshit, knowing that you didn’t even have a good reason and seeing it all manifest might fuck me up. But you know what? ... that's what all this nonsense is about, the events in our existences don't need to be logical or rational... not in our subjective bullshit. We're just left to face whatever the brilliant inadequacy of cognition leads us into. If you witness your grandfather spit in a prostitute’s mouth, then you've seen it and its done. Its in your catalogue, if you find your cat dead in your driveway then you're left with that image. None of it really serves any purpose, none of it makes any objective sense, you just have to put up with it. Instinct has been abstracted and all the lines are tangled. Existence is fucked up... our survival tools have made us weird creatures. So you can choose to keep working on whatever's in front of you or you can get caught up in the frivolous battles of analysis. Some people choose to create long-term goals, some people use their brain power to focus on one immediate thing; love, string theory, whatever, and some people try to soak the entirety. Every potential use of brain power should be accepted on one level or another. Because when in doubt you can ask; "well what the fuck else should they be doing with it?" And that's the nature of the nonsense; A flexible abstracted bullshit. Logic and truth don’t have to have much of anything to do with it. If you choose to rape-kill some innocent socialite girl you are entitled to that choice. Most of society will hate you. Most of society will claim that you are in the wrong and they will claim that you do not have a right to your freedom. They may even decide to take your life.I maintain that if it is within the realm of possible action then you are within your rights as a free being to do it. You will face the consequences imposed by the social paradigm… and that is a reality, but the people that you reach with your action will be forced to handle it in whatever way they can. There is no other option, events cannot be erased, the species will move forward... the ecosystem, the universe, and so on. It's illogical... and it may even seem completely haphazard from a distance. But the illogical nature of decision-making changes nothing about the range of choices that are made. So we see a lot in actuality... a wide range of things in spite of norms... in spite of ethical structures... but what do we gain from ethics anyway? The ideal world is comical and the actual world is phenomenaly impressive as one compares it to the ideal world. So… do whatever you want. I think I would probably undergo some personal growth if you went through with your plan to kill girsl. I wouldn't even decline to watch the video tapes if you were to make them. I want to see how far you are willing to go. How far beyond the boundaries of fear you can go.”

“Get the fuck outta here. I caught that bullshit about freedom of choice as a free being. That was fuckin retarded.”